Self-Rescue

When I entered the adult world, I had never had a female doctor. Initially, I really didn't want one. I was used to male doctors, and going to a male doctor seemed easier. Pretty soon, though, I began to realize that if I was going to ask to be treated fairly in my own profession, I should support women in other professions. So, I intentionally went out and sought a female to be my OB/GYN. The first one was kind of like Ms. Trunchbull in Matilda: she was a bully, and kind of mean about everything. I was terrified of her, and had to really struggle to give myself permission to go find another one. The next one was very competent--very smart, quiet and decent. She was very gentle and helped me through my first pregnancy. She wasn't a great advocate though. I don't mean to generalize--in fact, I mean not to--but I haven't yet found a female doctor who was a good fit for me.

Lately, there has been a resurgence of conversation about women in ministry. Should women teach in seminaries? Should women be pastors? At 54, and as someone who has been having to listen to this question and the stupid debates around it since I was 20 years old (and, incidentally, representing Southern Baptists on a Summer Mission Team), here is what I want to say:

                       I AM VERY SORRY THAT YOU ARE STILL DEALING WITH
                       YOUR STUPID FEARS ON THIS ISSUE. YOU ARE MISSING
                       OUT ON SOME OF THE MOST QUALIFIED, MOST DYNAMIC,
                       MOST SKILLED, AND MOST MOTIVATED HUMAN BEINGS
                       CURRENTLY IN THE FIELDS OF MINISTRY AND EDUCATION.

Women are normal human people. Some of them are going to do well at this work, and some of them aren't. They're going to bring their issues and their skills, and those are going to vary to the same degree that they do with men. Having a female in a position of leadership is not going to solve all your problems. If you believe that hiring females is going to solve all your problems, you are mistaken; if, however, you are still stuck in the rut of status quo and patriarchy--if you are still arguing about whether or not a woman SHOULD be ALLOWED to fulfill her calling from God, then you do not deserve to have any woman offer her gifts around you or for you. And you are missing out on some amazing people.

If you are a woman called to teach those of us who are called to be ministers, stop listening to those stupid voices. There's no ARGUMENT for women in those positions. Some women are going to be wonderful as seminary professors and ministers; some are not. They are going to succeed and fail based on all the same factors that cause men to succeed or fail. But whether they get the chance to do their best to fulfill their calling is not worthy of argument. It's not an opinion. God didn't just call men--God called women. The biblical narrative is full of them. Jesus didn't just call men--he called women. Those boys wouldn't have survived five minutes without Martha and the Marys. And I don't just mean that they provided food for the men to do the thinking.

Stop justifying your right to fulfill your calling from God. Nobody wins an argument with God (Read the end of the book of Job), and God has already issued the ruling on this. No cherry-picking of verses can erase Debora, the Judge; or Esther; or Phoebe. The time has come for women to stop arguing and just go about the business of doing what we are called to do. Be brave: that is decidedly biblical. Stand up for yourself by doing your job and doing it well, and never allowing anyone to tell you who you are or what you should be. Set your boundaries and stand by them. This is what grown-ups do. Don't wait for someone else to defend you--defend yourself.

In the language of rock climbing and white water rafting, they talk about self-rescue. Before you depend on someone else to risk his or her life to rescue you from the situation you're in, do everything you can to rescue yourself. That is where women are right now. It is time for us to self-rescue. And any moron who still wants to argue about whether it is right or normal or theologically sound for women to lead men on their spiritual journey is welcome to do that in their sad little corner of like-minded cretins. Many of you will be amazing at this work; some of you will be terrible at it; pretty much all of us will struggle with it, because of our own limitations, from time to time. But the time for niggling arguments is past. Get out there and teach; go forth and preach. Rescue your own damn self. And save all your pity for those sad people in the corner, clutching their Bibles like smokers banished to some carport in the rain, who will inevitably get left behind.